The Superman Effect
by Bisexual Pygmy
Summary: Does not involve Superman directly. Naturally this is a KenxOmi friendly fic with the possibility of more pairings. Rating changed, I like to rate it for intense swearing if the spirit moves me, but it hasn't yet so I think we're safe. ON HIATUS
1. My All Around Sucky Day

Well this sucked.  
  
It was another routine mission, just like a million other routine missions. There was a bad guy and we were going to kill him.  
  
We were staking out the bad guy's evil headquarters. I personally thought it was overkill, but Aya, the great over achiever, insisted that we get our three hours of sitting around and watching nothing happen in the dark in, so we had to wait before going in for the kill. It was Kritiker protocol, so I really couldn't do anything, but it was boring as all hell, not to mention freezing, and raining.  
  
So I was sitting on the roof, in the rain, desperately wanting to scratch my leg, but I couldn't because I knew that if I did that Aya-kun would somehow know about it and give me the whole 'an assassin must be able to remain motionless' talk again. It's not my fault, I'm seventeen, seventeen- year-olds fidget.  
  
I should have been more consciences about my surroundings, but I had other things on my mind, like how I think I might be gay and would it be childish to ask Ken to the winter formal? I could say we were just going as friends. But he just turned twenty; going to my high school dance probably isn't big on his lists of things that would be a gay old time. Pun not intended. Well, maybe a little.  
  
I'm an assassin. I should not be concerned with getting a date to a school dance, but still, a part of me really wanted to go. Probably the gay part.  
  
As for Ken...oh wait, that's the signal, it's showtime.  
  
I got my signal from Aya and hacked through the security system. I used to get such a thrill out of this. The sneaking, the hacking, the surveillance, not so much the killing, but everything else always made me feel special. Important. Yoji and I used to go to the theater at least once a week to watch some action movie and comment loudly on what we would have done in the same situation until then the theater owner asked us to please never come back. We are the guys that other guys dream of being when they watch those movies. Brilliant suave secret agents. It used to give me a perpetual high.  
  
Lately though, it's started to become boring. Hacking into this highly evil office building took me thirty six point five seconds. A few months ago I would have been very proud of my skills, now I cynically scoff at the building's crappy security system.  
  
Never did occur to me to be worried about it being a bit too easy.  
  
I usually partner Yoji-kun, but for some reason Aya-kun has been switching the teams around lately. I don't really mind though, especially since it means I get to work with Ken. He smells so nice. And he's so kind. And deep down inside he is actually quite intelligent.  
  
"51...53...5- wait 53? What happened to fifty two? How are we supposed to find his office if some of the numbers are missing?"  
  
Really really deep down inside. "Other side of the hall nimrod"  
  
After two wrong turns and a short, extremely unprofessional potty break, we found office seventy four. Ken slowly eased open the door while I got ready to aim my crossbow, but instead of one bad guy, there were two bad Swartz. All four of us stared at each other in confusion for a second.  
  
"What's the boy doing here? Where's Red?"  
  
Ordinarily, Ken and Aya-kun go after the primary target while Yoji-kun and I establish the perimeter and pick off any secondary targets. When Swartz set up their trap they broke up accordingly with Mastermind and Oracle rather then Prodigy. Mastermind started for Ken as usual, but Oracle stopped him, apparently deciding Ken-kun was a more worthy foe, and sent Mastermind after me.  
  
We all fought around the cramped office for a while, I was doing pretty damn well considering I don't get much practice with hand to hand combat.  
  
After a few minutes, Oracle, obviously still flustered about the opponent swap, gave an order to retreat and Mastermind took off down the hall. I'm not sure why but I felt compelled to chase him. He pretty much made a beeline for the door, occasionally knocking something over. I hurdled over an upturned trashcan and plowed right into him as he opened the door, both of us skidded out into the freezing rain.  
  
I was dazed for a second, not sure which way was up. It was only Ken's shouts that alerted me to Mastermind standing over me with a metal bar some worker must have left lying around. I didn't have time to react. The bar started coming down fast, and then there was a flash of light, then nothing.  
  
I woke up what must have been a day or two later to stone cold soup and a note written in Ken's illegible scrawl on the back of the napkin that was signed by Shindou Shuichi when I accidentally hit him with my scooter last week. Ironically, Ken would have had to physically move two memo pads and a spiral notebook to get to the autograph, which was in my 'too be framed' pile.  
  
I couldn't exactly read the note, but I could make out the number 4:00 and brilliantly deduced that they had gone to a matinee and left me, alone and possibly very near death. Never mind that that had never happened before and to my knowledge neither Ken nor Aya had ever in their lives seen or even been remotely interested in seeing a movie, but such was my depression and cynicism of late that it was obvious they had left my deathbed to do something fun without me rather then for something important.  
  
I was starving, and not wanting to chance trying the soup, which was a chalky grey color that indicated it might have possibly been made by Aya, who is perhaps not the most adept chef, I started to drag myself downstairs.  
  
My head hurt like hell. I had to stop a few times on my way down the stairs just to close my eyes and ease the pounding a little. Have you ever had your head held in a vice while some crazy guy whacks at you with a sledge hammer? Me neither, but I bet it feels something like my head did right then.  
  
The first thing I did when I got to the kitchen was swallow about six Tylenol before raiding the fridge, which was empty except for Momoe's protein shakes and Yoji's beer. I was hungry enough that sleep was out of the question so I decided to walk to the corner store and buy some junk food since my head still hurt too much for me to go to the commissary on my motorcycle safely.  
  
The trip to the mini-mart was for the most part uneventful. I wandered around in the mostly empty store with one of those plastic baskets and stocked up on chips and soda and pocky and some of that liquid sour candy, all the things a boy who is so sick he has been unconscious for three days needs. Grabbing a pint of Chunky Monkey, I went up to the counter.  
  
The girl smiled and started ringing up my purchases.  
  
[Oh poor Omi-kun, you look like shit]  
  
"Don't worry, I'm fine."  
  
"Huh?" [did I say that out loud?]  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yes what?"  
  
"You said I looked like shit."  
  
"Omi-kun, I would never use such language."  
  
"But you just...nevermind." A bit perturbed, I smiled and took the offered bag. These girls keep getting crazier and crazier.  
  
On the way home though, I could have sworn I heard Honda-san, the old man who owns the gas station, say I had a damn fine ass and some girl I had never met said that my shoes were the ugliest color she had ever seen. Needless to say, everyone's sudden openness where I was concerned bothered me so when I got back to the flower shop I shouted to Momoe that I was still sick and hurried up to my room to enjoy my lunch in peace. I turned on my little TV and started looking for a crappy daytime movie to distract myself.  
  
After a full afternoon of soaps, my emotional inhibitions had broken down enough that I convinced myself to tell Ken how I felt then next time I saw him. I had just worked all the bugs out of my 'coming out' speech when I heard the door slam indicating that everyone was home from where ever they had been all day (I had determined it wasn't a movie when they were gone more then six hours.) I could hear Momoe telling them that I had woken up in the room beneath me followed by some relieved sounds and then the sound of sneakers thumping quickly up the stairs. Had to be Ken coming to check on me, he's the only one who would forget to remove his shoes.  
  
I switched off the chick flick I was watching and scrambled to get into a position that was alluring. Something that said 'I want you' without screaming 'I am a complete slut.'  
  
I didn't see the door open because I had my head in the pillow pretending I was asleep. I am such a wuss.  
  
Ken came in silently and walked over to the bed. He ruffled my hair.  
  
[I was really worried. Maybe I should tell him...]  
  
Tell who? Tell me? What what what. But Ken just left, closing the door behind him. I almost went after him. I really did.  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
Okay, I'm not done with Baby Blues, and I do intend to finish it, but I'm just not in the right mood right now. Know what I mean? I was in an angsty mood most of the summer and wrote a oneshot that isn't finished, and now I'm in a kind of half-angst state, about like a normal person. Not depressed in any sense, but nowhere near my normal drugged up euphoric state, which is really what I need to finish Baby blues. In the meantime I started this fic, which has no clear direction as of yet. Thanks to eMU3 for the idea. 


	2. Pancakes And Wet Dreams

Hands ghosted across my body. But not the rough tanned hands that so often haunted my dreams. These hands were smooth and soft. Pale. And they moved differently too, usually the hands were shy, gentle. But right now they were confident and talented, never hesitating just moving with a will of their own. Long blond hair hid the lips that had absolutely no qualms about where they touched me. A far cry from the adorable blush my chocolate haired dream lover has when he comes anywhere near my body, tentatively touching increasingly sensitive spots until he works up the courage to venture into deeper waters. Something was not right. This wasn't my Ken. This was...

"Y-o-j-i" I woke up abruptly. Did I say that? I didn't know such a needy raspy sound could come out of my throat. And since when do I dream about Yoji? Yoji is my best friend. Sure he's attractive, but I love Ken. As the dream faded I grew slowly surer of this fact.

It was a fluke. A once in a lifetime thing because I'm stressed and my head hurts and my brain is screwing things up. Nothing to worry about.

Still a bit shaken up, I made my way downstairs to get more Tylenol.

Yoji was leaning against the counter nursing a cup of coffee while Ken made pancakes. They both gave a start when they heard my cheerful good morning and I could feel them looking at me strangely as I poured myself some orange juice.

[should he even be up?]

[He was struck by lightning; he should still be in bed.]

I was a tad annoyed that they were talking about me quite literally behind my back, but I was still a bit uncomfortable being in the room with both of them after my dream so I didn't comment. I was a bit surprised to hear I had been struck by lightning. No wonder my head hurt.

I hopped up onto the counter near Ken and started swinging my legs giving him my best puppy dog look in the hopes of procuring some pancakes.

[So cute.] I nearly fell off of the counter in complete shock. Ken had said I was cute! To my face! I had never heard him really compliment anyone to their face before, and cute could be construed as attractive which meant maybe my crush wasn't a lost cause after all. Not that I ever had any doubt. I managed to stop myself from falling, but I couldn't keep from grinning like a complete idiot. Ken noticed and grinned back.

Yoji looked up from his coffee and noticed us smiling at each other while the pancakes burnt. He smirked at me.

[Awww, Omi's in love] I seriously almost killed him right then. I'm not talking as an angry teenager either. I mean as a professional assassin with poison darts in the pocket of my shorts I almost killed him right then and there. He might have ruined everything. But luckily, Ken didn't seem to hear. He didn't even blush, just put the pancake on a plate and handed it to me.

I grinned at Ken as I took my plate and looked down at my breakfast, and scowled.

It was shaped like Mickey Mouse.

So much for cute being a good thing. Ken must have seen me scowl.

[What did I do now?]

"Nothing."

"Huh?"

"The pancake looks great." I tried my best to smile. It got easier when I saw that Ken's own pancake was shaped like Donald Duck. Maybe I was over reacting.

We ate in silence (except for the occasional word from Yoji when he commented on something in his paper to himself which was also odd) just enjoying each other's company for a while. I thought I heard Ken singing It's Raining Men softly, but I don't think he knew he was doing it so I didn't comment. Although I'm a bit surprised that Yoji didn't tease him either.

Aya came down a few seconds later glaring at me. I had a sudden mental image of Aya castrating me with a grapefruit spoon, but I shook it off. Surely he wasn't that angry at whatever it was I did.

"Morning Aya-kun."

[Takatori slut] Well that was just uncalled for

"What did you call me?"

"Huh?"

"You just called me a slut. Don't deny it, Yoji and Ken are right here, they heard you."

"Aya didn't say anything Omi." Yoji looked at me sadly. [Poor kid's finally lost it]

"I haven't lost it, and would you all please stop talking about me as if I wasn't here."

"No one said you lost it Omi, and no one has said anything about you all morning." Ken looked extremely concerned, Yoji however, was staring at me wide eyed.

[Can you hear me?]

"Of course I can hear you Yoji-kun, you're standing right there."

"Yoji didn't say anything Omi." Ken looked nearly hysterical now. [we need to call Kritiker, that lightning must have caused more damage then we thought.]

"I'm fine Ken, and leave Kritiker out of this, they'll just prod at me."

gasp Yoji and Ken stared at me, almost frightened. "Omi, I'm going to pick a number between one and a million."

"three"

"Omi, I think you can hear our thoughts."

"That's ridiculous."

[oh shit] Ken ran out of the room. I could hear the soft thump thump thump of his feet as he ran up the stairs to his room and the slamming of his door, followed by loud heavy metal music.

"It's true Omi, until Aya came in neither one of us really said anything."

"I think you've been watching too much late night twilight zone. I'm going out."

It was ridiculous really, you can't just develop psychic powers overnight, or at least, I think you can't.

As I was thinking I wandered around aimlessly, there weren't many people around since it was ten AM on a Tuesday so I was alone with my thoughts, and my thoughts alone, not that I could have heard anyone else's thoughts if they happened to be around. Or so I thought.

[Do these jogging pants make my ass look big?]

Well, I didn't think anyone would say that out loud to a stranger, but people are weird like that. Never the less I gravitated toward the benches to avoid joggers.

[I think my wife might be cheating on me]

Definitely not something I would tell a stranger. Starting to get a bit panicky I ran out of the park and into the first building I saw, which ended up being a grocery store. I needed some comfort food anyway.

[Do I want Ketchup or Catsup? What's the difference, I don't think it's made from cats. Maybe one is European. Do Europeans even eat ketchup? Do Japanese?]

That was the last straw, I dropped my basket full of snack cakes right in the middle of the aisle and ran all the way home where I locked myself in my room, hid in my bed, and turned on the TV loud enough that I could hear it over Ken's still-blaring stereo.

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I was going to work on this and tweak the beginning so it didn't sound so forced, but i'm lazy and it's been too long since my last update anyway, plus with moving i don't have much time to write. Sorry about that.


	3. TV Holds All The Answers

I woke up at nine to the sound of the opening theme song to "The Real Adventures of Superman." It was one I had seen, but I decided to watch it anyway because it was one of my favorites.

The one where Superman gets struck by lightning. See he's trying to stop this guy from killing himself in this cemetery and then they get struck by lightning. They both get knocked out for a second and when they wake up they are both fine, but suicide guy...has...super...powe...EUREKA!

That must be what happened, Schuldig must have transferred his powers to me when we were struck by lightning. If that's the case then I really am psychic. But unlike Schuldig, I would use my powers to better mankind. Or to seduce Kenken, whichever comes first.

Feeling newly confident I swaggered downstairs into the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. I saw Ken running out the opposite door as I entered. Weird.

"Morning Yoji-kun"

"Morning Omi" [I wonder if he is reading my mind right now.]

"fraid so Yoji, I can't seem to turn it off."

"So you've accepted it then?"

"uh huh"

"Well then let's set some ground rules, all things in Yoji's head, stay there. Tell no one no matter what it is. I'm pretty sure that goes for Aya too. Go ahead and spill whatever you want about Ken though."

"I wasn't going to go blabbing all of your secrets Yoji-kun."

"And another thing, don't just assume things, some thoughts are taken out of context."

I didn't think to ask what would be taken out of context in his own mind. I wasn't really listening to him anyway. I was trying to concentrate on Ken so I could hear his thoughts, but I think he was too far away already.

After breakfast I went upstairs to get ready for school. It was a school sponsored casual dress day to support the pep club so instead of my uniform I put on a pair of clean jeans and my favorite sweater. Yoji gave it to me last Christmas. It's really soft and shaggy, and bright lime green.

Normally I can con Ken into giving me a ride into school on his motorcycle, but he was still out to wherever he was so I took the metro. I was kind of glad to have a bunch of people to practice my new power on anyway.

When I got on the train I was hit by a typhoon of voices that quadrupled my now constant headache. I crouched in a corner with my hand shielding my eyes from the harsh fluorescent lights for several minutes while I sorted everything out. I found that if I concentrated on one mind then all of the other mind voices were pushed to the background.

I started with a girl that was sitting nearby and smiling pleasantly at me.

[I wonder how many muppets died to make that hideous sweater]

Obviously she had no taste so I moved on to the man sitting next to her.

[should a kid that young be traveling alone?]

I looked around for several seconds searching for the kid in question before I realized he was referring to me. Maybe I should concentrate on people who were a little farther away and weren't thinking unflattering things about me.

One by one I listened to people's thoughts and fears and dreams. There was a woman who had just discovered she was pregnant and was going downtown to tell her husband the good news right away and a businessman that was planning to propose to his long-time sweetheart. There were people thinking about groceries and finances and family and several people mentally commenting on the appearances of some of the other passengers. Some of it was pretty funny.

[Why is that kid dressed like Oscar the Grouch looking at me]

Maybe not that funny.

I rushed into my classroom just after the bell rang. The metro always makes me late.

The classroom thoughts weren't nearly as interesting as the commuter thoughts. Mostly it was just a dozen girls agonizing over what to wear to the dance and guys wondering if it was too late to get out of going. I tuned them all out while I thought of my own dateless predicament.

I don't like dances as a rule. Momoe always makes me go and there is always a gaggle of girls cooing over how adorable I look in my tux and their dates making slightly less then good-natured comments on my appearance and sexuality as they try to get the girls attention. It's just the couples always look like they are having so much fun.

I know that if I got Ken to go with me we would not be doing all the sweet couple-y stuff. Even if we called it a date, we wouldn't be able to tell anyone else, I've been pushed into enough lockers without being openly frickin gay thank you very much. If he did come we would probably just sit off to the side and well, bask in each other's presence. Not that we don't get enough basking at home, we are pretty much in each others pocket from the second I get home and start our shared shift until around nine when we finish the dishes together because neither of us can really cook and he goes to watch TV while I do homework in my room. We're together even more now that Aya-chan is back and Aya has started to spend quality time with her. Ken doesn't have anyone to hang out with on the weekends anymore so he has started tagging along with Yoji and me. (I have no idea what he and Aya used to do together, but I'd be lying to say I wasn't a tad suspicious.)

But basking at the dance would be different because...well, it just would. I'm not sure why exactly, but something about dances is just romantic, getting all dressed up and...man I'm gay.

It really didn't matter since I was never going to get the nerve to ask him anyway. Maybe I would just take Aya-chan.

I went to find her during break. I figured she would be thrilled to have a date, but when I found her she was bragging to Sakura about how she had had a secret crush on this guy for a long time and she had asked him to the dance and he said yes. Sakura was listening politely but I could hear her thinking about how she didn't have a date and what hell Aya-chan would make her life if she didn't get one. I never knew Aya-chan had a malicious streak.

Anyway, I asked Sakura to go with me since I knew I was going to be dragged to the damn thing Ken-less anyway.

When I got home, Aya-kun locked me alone in the closet we call a store room to make about three gazillion corsages and boutonnières for this weekend. Tokyo High's winter formal is the same weekend as West Tokyo High's snowcoming and Saint Clair's Christmas bash and about three weddings, and we are by far the most popular flower shop in Tokyo. Yet another reason that I dislike formal dances.

By the time Aya-kun finally came down with the key to let me out (you thought I was joking when I said he locked me in didn't you? Well I wasn't) my hands were sticky and I was developing allergies. Not only that, but Ken had fallen asleep on the couch so my plans to seduce him were foiled. I sat up listening to his scattered thoughts while he slept under the pretense of watching the blue team from wherever beat the purplish-grey team from that other place, but his dreams made no sense at all. Seriously, I don't think I even own boots.1

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1 Reference to Ken's dream. For anyone who doesn't know, boots in a dream means a desire to have sex with someone. Usually it would be Ken wearing the boots though.


	4. Winter Boremal

{I'm sorry, i know the chapter title is corny as all hell. I just couldn't help myself :-)}

Aya-chan is a conniving bitch.

I sat at an overdone table with a bored looking Sakura watching Aya-chan fawning all over KEN. MY KEN. I very nearly throttled Aya-chan for even daring to consider dating MY MAN. I don't know how she got him there but there was obviously blackmail or drugs or brainwashing involved. He looked really uncomfortable. Aya-chan was all over him, cozied up as close as she could be. She tried to sit on his lap but whenever she went to transfer herself Ken would get up to get everyone punch, whether we needed it or not. She finally gave up but not before there were fifteen full glasses on the table.

I really wasn't being a very good date. Sakura kept trying to draw me into the conversation, but I was content to just sit back and fume. She was confused as to why I was glaring at Aya-chan, but she wasn't really mad. She knew I had asked her as a friend. She did catch me looking sadly at Ken a few times, but though I could hear her mind puzzling over it, she couldn't seem to put two and two together.

There were three other girls at our table who hadn't managed to get dates. Ken frowned when Aya-chan started boasting about how he had gotten her alone in the shop three days ago and begged her to come to the dance and she had said yes and he kissed her on the lips.

[More like she cornered me while I was trying to sneak out the back and burst into tears about how if she didn't have a date she would be thrown to wild dogs until I finally offered to go with her just to shut her up and then she grabbed my face and drooled into my mouth.]

I snorted. Very un-cute but I couldn't help it. I suddenly felt a hell of a lot better about the whole situation. Aya-chan looked at me with confusion and distaste but no one else seemed to notice.

About twenty minutes later (with a good-bye grope for Ken that nearly made me overturn the table) Aya-chan lead the gaggle of girls to the ladies room for whatever the hell it is girls like to do in the bathroom together. If I wasn't gay I would be very curious.

As it was I was overjoyed. Aya-chan had chosen the most secluded table in the gym so she could molest poor Ken without drawing the attention of any of the teachers, so Ken and I were alone half hidden behind a giant Styrofoam snowman and a rack of volleyballs.

Ken smiled at me sheepishly.

[I look like such a dweeb]

"No, you look good." Ken blushed when he realized I had read his thoughts and immediately started concentrating on keeping his mind blank. I was kind of hurt, but I didn't say anything.

In all honesty, he did look like a dweeb. Aya-chan had only asked him a few days ago so he hadn't had time to reserve a tux and had to take the last one that the rental shop had, which fit poorly and was probably made in the eighties. The shirt was ruffly with red edging, the cummerbund and tie were both thicker then was necessary, and the pants and jacket, while black thankfully, were of an extremely showy cut with wide lapels and ridiculously long tails that while fashionable in the eighties, were now just plain tacky.

Ken noticed me scrutinizing his appearance and blushed. We sat in silence for a while as I listened to Ken trying to not think.

[Oh man, I would rather be anywhere but here] I fought the urge to agree with him and pretended I didn't hear that. I think Ken figured out what I was doing because he gave me a small smile.

I asked him a question. I don't remember what but soon we were both smiling and chattering about the most mundane things but having a great time. He said something that made me laugh and I could feel his eyes on me.

[I wish I was here with Omi] almost the second he thought that Ken remembered where he was and the situation with me and all the blood drained out of his face, too mortified to cover himself by saying 'because we are such good friends' or 'because Aya-chan is a bore'.

I was too shocked to move for a second, so completely paralyzed with glee. It occurred to me that Ken possibly didn't mean that in a romantic sense but fortunately the horny part of my brain told me I was being paranoid and I should go for it. The question was how.

I snuck a peek over at Ken. He was deeply engrossed in examining his punch and trying very hard to keep his mind completely blank so he didn't give anything away. What to say what to say. I had to say the perfect thing. I wanted desperately to just kiss him like they always do in the movies, but if I was wrong then I would have thrown away my reputation as straight for nothing, not to mention bringing Ken's into question.

It had to be cool, something witty and smooth, that specifically told him my intentions. After much thinking I decided on 'Oh Ken, I've been wildly in love with you for years, let's go home and hump like bunnies.' It probably needed a little revising, but out of the corner of my eye I saw Sakura-chan and Aya-chan heading back toward the table so I had to act quickly.

"YouknowIkindofsortofmaybewantedtoaskyou." Smooth Omi. Dumbass.

Ken seemed to forget his embarrassment for a moment though because he looked up from his drink. His upper lip was bright blue because of the cheap punch.

"...what?"

I smiled at him, somehow the blue made him seem more approachable. Less like Ken Hidaka, the sex god I usually think of him as, and more of Kenken, one of my best friends that still gets lost on his way to the grocery store and blames it on Swartz.

"I was sort of thinking about asking you to the dance but I didn't think you would have any fun."

"You're right, this isn't any fun." My face fell. Maybe he hadn't meant romantically after all. "I mean...not that...I'm sure it would have been more fun with you but.." I managed a sad smile. [You've done enough damage, just go for it] "Maybe it would have been more fun if we had gone somewhere else. Without Sakura and Aya-chan." I looked up from the table. Despite his suave words Ken was blushing horribly. Was he asking me out? I licked my dry lips.

"You mean...like, uh, a date?" His face broke into a huge smile.

"Yeah"

"You're right, that might have been more fun."

"Only one way to find out."

"Find out what?" And they're back. Damn Aya-chan showing up at the absolute worst possible time.

"Uh, find out if you two are ready to go yet." Suddenly all of the confidence from a moment ago was gone and Ken was groping for words and blushing hotly once again. It's a miracle Aya-chan wasn't suspicious.

"Oh, but Ken we haven't even danced yet. And they're announcing the snow court soon."

Ken sighed, but was smiling broadly. The previous discomfort between the two of us was replaced with an easy levity. And when Aya-chan pulled Ken out on the dance floor for a very slow number and settled her hands well below his waist and Ken looked at me over her head and rolled his eyes, I decided Aya-chan wasn't so bad after all.

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Yay another chapter. I feel so productive. Despite my history of rushing things once Omi gets his swerve on, I think this fic is only about halfway finished. Maybe.

Reviews make me happy! Even short pointless ones.


	5. Meanwhile

Schuldig was frazzled.

He hadn't slept in about a week, ever since his powers had miraculously switched off. Not that he had told the others. He was very careful not to let them find out. He had to be constantly vigilant now that he couldn't hear the thoughts of approaching foes.

He sat at the kitchen table drinking his twentieth cup today of very strong coffee.

Nagi sat across from him, quietly working on his homework. Schuldig wondered what nasty things the boy was thinking about him. He looked so innocent, just sitting there chewing on his lip, but Schu knew better. He was biding his time before he sprung his diabolical trap.

Brad was in on it too no doubt. He sat at the end of the table reading a paper. Or pretending to read was more like it. Schuldig knew that under the emotionless façade he was plotting horrible and painful things.

It hurt to realize Farfarello was privy to their schemes, Schu's lover stood at the counter putting anything he could reach in the blender. Schu had defended the psycho to himself for as long as he could, but it was really rather obvious that he wanted Schu out of the way as well. Of all of his so-called teammates, Farf's betrayal was by far the most painful. Schu should give him a piece of his mind.

Schuldig tried his best to keep an eye on all of his teammates at once, but they were spread out around the kitchen so the most he could see at any one time was two. Nagi was sitting in the center of the room, and a good thing since it was important to keep an eye on him, but who else to watch.

Farfie was more dangerous but Brad was more likely to try something, but then if Farf tried something Schu would be more likely to fight it off while with Brad he would probably just have to endure it. Schuldig's eyes darted back and forth between them rapidly while he debated who to watch.

Nagi glanced up from his homework to see Schuldig looking very panicky as he desperately tried to look in two directions at once. Of course they all knew about the power loss thing. Even if Brad hadn't had a vision, it wouldn't have been hard to figure out once the German stopped his running commentary on everyone's thoughts. Nagi and Farfarello had briefly toyed with the idea of playing a few practical jokes on him now that they could, but within a few hours of him waking up it was obvious the best way to torture him was to do nothing at all. Nagi watched amusedly as Schu let out a half growl half scream and darted out of the room. A few seconds later they could all hear his bedroom door slamming shut. Farf looked up from the concoction he was pureeing for a second before he shrugged and started adding more silverware. Bradley didn't even look up.

"We should really do something about his paranoia." Nagi's statement was met with two blank expressions. "Oh come on, we can't just leave him like that, funny as it is it's starting to get on my nerves."

No response.

"Come on Jei. He's your lover." A disinterested grunt sounded from the counter. "Fine, I'll do it myself."

Holding a tray with the dinner Schuldig had missed Nagi knocked quietly on his bedroom door. After a very long wait and what sounded like fourteen locks being undone the door opened just enough for Nagi to see one extremely bloodshot eye.

"I brought you some..." SLAM

Giving an exasperated sigh, Nagi put down the tray and tried again.

"You have to eat sometime Schu."

"Like hell, I know what you're trying to do. You'll never take me alive."

"Come on Schu, do you really think we would try to hurt you? I've known you since I was four. Bradley admits that you're a valuble part of the team and Farfie's in love with you." There was a slight pause and the door opened very slightly. Nagi smirked, picked up the tray and went on. "I can't read your thoughts but I've never suspected you of trying to hurt me."

A hand slowly came through the crack in the door and in one fluid motion flipped the tray up into Nagi's face, covering the telekinetic with a disgusting mixture of beer, beef stew, and chocolate pudding.

"Fuck off" and the door slammed shut once again.

"It didn't work." Nagi looked with the utmost loathing upon the Irishman who had apparently watching the entire exchange from across the hall with an amused smirk.

Nagi growled in frustration. "Let's see you do better"

Farfarrello motioned for Nagi to keep out of sight in the room across the hall. When he was satisfied that Nagi couldn't be seen he crept up to the door and gave it a very tentative knock. After a surprised yelp and some scuffling, the door cracked open the tiniest bit and Schuldig peaked out. Not wasting any time, Farfarello wedged his slim body between the door and the frame before Schu had a chance to shut it. Schuldig looked very close to a nervous breakdown, but before he managed to start a full blown panic attack Farfarrello murmured something so softly Nagi had to strain to hear.

"I think Nagi and Crawford might be out to get you."

The change was instantaneous. Suddenly the door was wide open and Schuldig had the Irishman wrapped in his arms muttering against his lips that he knew all along that he could trust his lover and it wasn't safe to talk in the hall. Nagi watched as Schu, who had been too afraid to so much as touch anyone for days, picked up Farf's legs and wrapped them around his hips before carrying him into the bedroom and shutting the door, the heavy thunk of a lock sounding soon after, and leaving Nagi shocked and more then a little befuddled in the hallway.

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Sorry, this is really short. But it was so hard. I started working on this chapter first way back in July. I'm sorry, I'm no good with Swartz. I'm trying to get better though, I will try to have a few follow up Swartz chapters, but I can't promise you anything.


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